So, I guess we’re embarking on a new journey and sometimes it’s still hard to believe that I’m pregnant with baby number two. There are so many emotions that flew through my mind on February 27th as I saw the positive line show up after I peed on a pregnancy test. Let’s rewind a little bit so I can take you through the process of even getting to this point.
Our daughter will be six years old this summer, and if you would have asked me when she was born how much of an age gap I’d like between her and a future sibling, I might have said two to three years. Me and my two brothers were all about two years apart, and I think that made it easier for my parents once we were in school and going through different life phases.
My husband and his siblings on the other hand have pretty big age gaps and I remember him saying there were certain points in his childhood that he had a hard time relating to his siblings as he was the youngest of five. It didn’t seem to ruin his life though, and he still has a bond with them even as an adult.
That being said, year after year would go by in our daughter’s life, and we never really felt settled about trying to conceive again. Being Christians, we’re of the mindset that you should seek God in everything, including children. I know some people who don’t believe in any type of contraception and go with the flow of whenever they get pregnant. That’s not our conviction at all.
Many factors led to us not feeling the “ok” to move forward with bringing a new life into the world, and many of those factors felt out of our control. Being that it didn’t always feel like it was our choice to wait, but rather the Lord’s, I did feel a type of sadness that time kept on moving forward and our desire for more children still wasn’t fulfilled. Also, questions and comments about our daughter needing a playmate kept coming up. (That’s pretty annoying, by the way to keep bringing up future kids to someone. Please don’t be that person. You don’t know their story.)
One day I might dive more into the details of the years we didn’t try to conceive, but for now I’ll just say that we felt the go ahead to try in December of 2019. By February, God blessed us with life in my womb. I remember crying because it felt like such a long time coming. I know what you might be thinking “Girl, relax. It was only two months.” Like I mentioned, that wasn’t really by choice. It basically felt like we’d had this desire for years, but the door wasn’t opened until now so the journey was still a long time coming.
Since we were actively trying to conceive, I had already bought a two pack of pregnancy tests from the store so I could have them on hand. I had already used one test the month before I got pregnant because I didn’t want to be surprised by my period coming and letting me know there was no baby on board. That test was negative. The night before I found out I was pregnant, I had a strong feeling to take a test. I know that tests instruct you to use morning pee since it’s the most potent, so I decided to wait. That night I had four consecutive dreams about getting a positive pregnancy test result, and by the morning I could hardly wait to take a test.
My husband had to run an early errand, so right after he left I took the test. At first glance, I only saw one line and figured “Okay, I’m not pregnant.” Then I looked down again and saw the other line begin to fade in and I honestly couldn’t believe it.
My daughter was still sleeping, but she woke up to the sound of me scream crying tears of joy because I was so excited. The emotions I felt were happy, but also a release of the sadness I had been feeling from the years I waited for this moment. Once my husband got back home, I didn’t even have words. I just walked up to him with the test and started sobbing. I said, “We did it, baby.” and he replied “Jesus did it.” and held me for a few minutes.
Part of me felt like this was too good to be true because it was Thursday and my period wasn’t schedule to come until the following Sunday. I knew the accuracy of the test results dwindled down the earlier you took the test before a missed period, but my period never came. I remember thinking even a full week after my missed period “I guess I really am pregnant.” I think it took a few weeks–and a lot of symptoms–for it to finally sink in.
Needless to say, we’re super excited about this news. One of the things I didn’t fully expect was how interested my daughter would be about the new baby. Every once in a while, she’ll say “I can’t believe you’re actually pregnant!!” and get really happy. That’s definitely a perk of baby #2. I didn’t have an excited child to share this with the first time around, and it’s really sweet.
I’ll be doing my best to keep posting updates for those of you who are interested in following along. Feel free to drop questions if you have them.
So, that’s that for now. Be blessed and take time to make your dreams into your reality.