In my pregnancy so far, it’s really been a whirlwind. I finally feel like I have the strength and mental capacity to be able to document how things are moving along. I’m still waiting on the “second trimester bliss” that everyone keeps talking about, but at 16 weeks I’m just happy to feel somewhat normal. My first thirteen weeks or so were filled with puke and dizziness, and I can’t believe I was still going out on auditions and trying to have a normal schedule. Once the new year hit, I had to tell my agents that I wouldn’t be able to do much of anything for a few months. They were so gracious and we agreed that I’d take a break from acting until I really start showing and can audition for pregnancy roles. (Maternity product ads, here I come!!!).
As I write this, I can feel tiny movement in my womb. It’s one of the weirdest feelings, but I’m so in love with it already. The miracle of life is an amazing thing. It’s interesting to me when someone says “This was our miracle baby, s/he almost didn’t make it because (insert story here).” When a child is conceived, the odds are already stacked against them. I realized after my husband and I suffered a miscarriage in April of 2013 just how fragile a baby can be. Any baby is a miracle baby. There doesn’t need to be a tragic story like ours, and you can have the most complication-free pregnancy and still deliver a healthy miracle baby. We’re excited about delivering ours this July 2014.
I have to admit, even though I’ve been wanting to be a mother for such a long time–especially after losing our first child–when I saw the at-home pregnancy test turn positive on October 31st, 2013 I had very mixed emotions about it. My thought process went a little bit like this “Thank you, Jesus! That was so fast. Oh crap, am I ready?!” Well, ready or not, here this baby comes. It took a while to get used to the idea of being pregnant again. I definitely had fears of losing this baby, and had a hard time latching onto the notion that this was really happening.
Shortly after finding out I was pregnant, my friend gave me the book “Supernatural Childbirth” as a gift and it’s been such a blessing. I had been hearing about this book for a while, and I really wish I had jumped on purchasing a copy sooner. I have to tell you, being a Christian, I definitely believe in the power of prayers and confessions. The same biblical principles have been adopted by modern society and now called “asking the universe ” or “sending positivity into the world in order to call that thing into your life”. It works, but it’s really not a new thing. It’s clearly written in the Bible several times, and that’s what I’m placing my faith in. I really have no more thoughts of “What if I lose this baby?” All I can think about is the fact that I WILL be having a healthy baby that is full term and I better get ready.
Another thing that’s been wonderful is having so many friends who are also pregnant and due this year. I promise you, it’s the biggest group of people having babies ever. The world might not even be able to carry the weight of all of these new people. It’s such a comfort to know that our child will grow up with so many humans that are children of some of our favorite humans. I’m very much excited about that…and we definitely better prepare for the cost of all of these baby showers we’ll be attending.
I haven’t really shared our exact due date with a lot of people because it’s more of a general date that the baby will be born on and I don’t want the pressure of “Oh, you’re delivering already? Isn’t it too soon?” or “Well, you’re one week past your due date, something must be wrong.” That might be weird of me to say that, but I’ve noticed that once you announce your pregnancy, a flood of opinions come in alongside the congratulatory comments. There’s nothing wrong that, but…I’d really like to limit it when it comes to personal preference or other people’s fears being pushed on us.
Another thing we’re going to be sharing the day our baby is born is the name. I never understood why people did that because I just thought they were trying to be too cool for school. I kind of get it now. Not that anything anyone says will change our minds about the names–we’ve had them picked out for a while now–but it’s going to be nice to have something that just me, my husband, and close family will know until the big day. So, you have that to look forward to…if you care about it. We will be announcing the gender when we find out in a month. I don’t want to have a nursery full of yellow and green ambiguous clothing and decorations, so I’m totally cool with people knowing if we’re having a son or daughter.
So, before I leave you, I’ll comment on a few pregnancy topics:
Age and size of baby:
16 weeks old, 5 inches long, 5 oz in weight.
Cravings:
I’m not usually much of a beef eater unless it’s in a burger or taco, but lately if I see a juicy steak on a commercial, I’m drooling over it like it’s my favorite thing to eat. I’ve ALWAYS been a carb person. I love noodles, pasta, bread, pizza, sandwiches, potatoes and the like. That still stands, but I think it’s on overload. Sour and salty things. The weirdest anti-craving I have has to do with green things. I’m a salad lover. I could make you the best salad you’ve ever had, but for right now leafy greens and green fruits and veggies mostly turn my stomach. Also, I couldn’t drink water at all until about two weeks ago. You can add fruit ninja to the pile of cravings, and I can’t wait until it’s Spring/Summer and all of my juicy fruits are in season again. I could go wild over some strawberries or mangoes.
Morning sickness:
It’s no longer all-day sickness, but I still feel nauseous in the morning, especially if I sleep in. That stomach acid is on high production and I’m quite tired of the taste.
Stretch marks:
No new stretch marks yet, but I am starting to apply moisturizer more liberally to growing parts of my body before it gets out of control.
Crazy hormones:
I used to get really weepy early on, and I would cry because I felt helpless when my husband was doing everything and I was doing nothing. I’d also cry when I felt super sick and felt trapped in my body. I haven’t felt weepy anymore, I’m actually the most even-keel I’ve been probably my whole life. I’m usually more of an outspoken, blunt, and sometimes easily bothered person, but I think because I’m just so happy right now, it takes a lot more to get to me nowadays.
Sleeping habits:
It’s really hard for me to sleep these days. I’ve almost become nocturnal unless I have plans setup for the day. I probably need a good 12 hours of sleep at night, but I’m not needing to take naps in-between which is good. It just takes a while to get comfortable and stop my mind from racing at night.
So, that’s that for now. Be blessed and take time to make your dreams into your reality.
-Kytia L’amour
Hey, I’m that friend! 🙂 It blesses me to know that book has been a blessing to you. You are such an inspiration to me and I admire your strength and willingness to share your thoughts throughout your pregnancy. Reading about everything you’re going through kind of freaks me out as someone who has never been pregnant before (lol), but I know that it’s such a miraculous, beautiful experience. I can’t wait to see you so I can see your cute baby bump in person!
Thank you so much, Amber. Hopefully it’ll freak you out only for a little while, but when you’re pregnant at least you’ll kinda know what to expect. It’s an experience like none other, but it’s thrilling at the same time. I can’t wait to see you in person either, it’s been pretty difficult getting out to see people, but I feel my strength coming back slowly…so hopefully soon!